Sugar Cookies White as Snow
   (Listen along!)
On a cloudy, windy, snowy winter day, make a batch of warm cookies
and a bag full of sandwiches.  Put plenty of catfood in the dish and
leave the back door open a crack so the kitties can come and go
through the missing windowpane.  

Put the snow shovel in the car.  In the heavy snow of a major winter
storm that’s already beginning, drive to work, out in the country at
the studios near the radio towers.

Do recording chores while the snow storm intensifies.  Check to see
if all the commercials for the next day or two have been recorded and
put into the rack.  As everyone leaves the office for the day, call
and check in with the weather service and law-enforcement
communications center.  

Check the log and pull music for the night shift.  Go into the on-air
studio and begin live radio show.

As storm continues to get worse, take call from the overnight DJ who
can’t get to work.  Take more calls from listeners telling about the
snowstorm, and the first ones from police and troopers advising no
travel.  Eat a sandwich.  

Set aside most of the  music, see that the few evening ads have aired
and change the transmitter back to its higher daytime power, as
authorized in an emergency situation.  As per instructions from state
patrol, advise travelers if they go out onto the highways, troopers
will not come searching for them.  

As authorized in emergency, broadcast a personal message.  “Rudy from
Aberdeen in a pickup truck headed west to Leola, if you hear this and
you’re stuck in the storm, stay in your vehicle.  Friends have told
the state patrol you're missing and they think you're on the road. 
Please don’t get out and try to walk.  Even if you’re there for a day
or two, you'll make it if you stay put till they come and dig you
out.”  

Call weather service and ask a favor.  Sign off transmitter at 2:00
AM.  Sleep on couch in the office.  When weather service phones back,
get up at 6:00 and sign on and begin doing the morning radio show
alone.  Eat another sandwich and some cookies.  

Do the morning news, with phoned advice from the news director who’s
snowed-in at home.  Play midday music show, repeating the weather
warnings and advice not to travel. Do the midday news, which consists
of weather reports, wire service news and more warnings to
travelers.  Take call from sales manager angry that you’re telling
listeners “not to go shop at his sponsors.”  Apologize and continue
warning listeners not to risk travel in the storm, which continues. 
Tell “Rudy” if he’s out there to stay in his truck.

Finish cookies.  Announce: “You’ve heard all the weather and travel
warnings. Now here’s something completely different.” Recite from
memory.

Mix:  1 cup sugar, 1 cup shortening.
Add:  1 egg

Mix: 2 cups flour, a teaspoon of salt, a teaspoon of baking soda. 
Add a half-teaspoon of cream of tartar for more fluffiness, if you
have some in the house.  

Stir dry ingredients into the sugar mix.  Place globs on a cookie
sheet, mash with the bottom of a glass dipped in sugar.  

Bake 6 minutes at 400 degrees.  

When the phone promptly rings,  worry about being scolded by boss. 
Hear: “How much sugar?” from one of thousands of snowed-in radio
listeners with nothing else to do. Continue to run radio station
alone and take calls for 4 more hours about weather, travel, and
cookies.

Get a ride home when snowplows finally arrive and bring someone to
relieve the lone announcer.  

Be gone, sleeping, the next morning when Rudy comes in to the radio
station to say he was indeed stuck, out there on the country highway
the other night, and heard your message on the radio.  He’s come in
to say he would have gotten out of his truck to try and walk, and
only gave up the plan because of that radio announcer’s insistence --
and when the snowplows came through the next day and dug him out he
looked around at the snowy landscape and realized there wasn’t a home
or shelter for miles and he would surely have frozen and died trying
to walk anywhere.   

Continue working in radio for two or three decades, or until well
done.